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G'nort meets the Reaper

 
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Location: Generally found at the Golden Ivy Tavern. If not there, then on the SpellJammer, his ship.
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 8:18 am    Post subject: G'nort meets the Reaper Reply with quote

It was a quiet and peaceful night. The moon was shining bright. Giving not a hint of what's in store. A few hours before morning, without a single warning, G'nort leaves his ship through his front door.

Well, that was about it for the rhyming part of the story. The rest of it takes place a bit later, as he heads down the area of Dockside, which happens to be by the docks, checking on recent aquisitions which were aquired in recent times through means of which could be considered both roguish, pirate-like, or downright illegal. Not that he'd admit it to anyone unless he thought that it would impress someone. There's something to be said for a lack of law in some places. If he got caught by his own police in his own land, well, there'd be some serious bribing needed to keep it from the tabloids.

But this story, really, isn't about piracy, or shipping, or aquisitions. Nor is it about the legality of the system or the lack of any sort of law. Is it about Government? Nope, you'd be wrong about that too. It's about a stupid bird.

That's right. A stupid bird called a seagull. Gulls are birds in the family Laridae. They are most closely related to the terns (family Sternidae), auks and skimmers, and more distantly to the waders. Most gulls belong to the large genus Larus. And that's your education lesson for the day.

This gull in particular, we'll call him.. Bob. Bob the Seagull. Well, Bob was flying out and about searching for some sort of easy to get breakfast at about 3:32 in the morning when he saw something flash down on the docks below.

Now, if you're paying attention, you'd remember that G left his ship a few hours before morning, which coincides with 3:32, and he happened to be down by the docks checking on things. At that moment, he was brushing his fingers through his hair, and the moonlight happened to reflect off the Dockside Baronial ring. It was that brief glint of "Oooo Shiny!" that caught the short attention spanned avians brief attention.

Can you say Dive Bomber? I knew you could. Well, when it's dark and all of a sudden you hear a squawk! that's closeby, then get hit with a beak on the side of your head, you'll probably do something similar like G. Which is to say you'll yelp in shock, then pain because a beak does happen to hurt a bit if it's flying down straight for you and pecks you on the side of the head, lose your balance, and fall into the water.

G wears a bit of armor, too. So, hitting the water wouldn't have been a good idea. But then, Dockside isn't the safest district, either. So, hitting the water in armor shortly followed hitting the bottom of the sea. We'll hope G can hold his breath long enough to crawl along the seafloor and reach the beach.
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Location: Generally found at the Golden Ivy Tavern. If not there, then on the SpellJammer, his ship.
594,985 Silver Nobles


PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 8:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, that didn't seem to take long. It certainly was a few minutes, but, as you guessed, G died. Dead on the ocean floor close to the beach sucked into a mire because of armor and weapons. And a stupid bird. Now, anyone who dies, and there should be plenty of reference points amongst those in the City of Rhydin to get an accurate representation of what happens when you die, will undoubtedly tell you later about the death experience. Which is to say as you're dying, you see the bright light. Then you seem to float, which could be useful when underwater if you could, you know, bring your waterlogged body with you. Then you reach the waiting zone where you meet one of the most famous figures in human history.

The Grim Reaper. He who leads you on your journey into the unknown. He who guides you towards whichever zone you are going to hang out in, be it whichever gods you believe in, or whichever gods decide to send you to their versions of Hell.

This is where the story begins to take off. See, G, who is dead, is at this point where he's in limbo waiting for the Reaper. Picture if you will a dark room now, the bright light is gone, and all that's left is a simple wooden chair in the center of the room. The only light is the one shining down onto this chair, and sitting in this chair is our Hero, G'nort. Who is dead.

Suddenly, a shifting sound approaches. He looks up and sees the classic representation of Death himself standing nearby.

"Nice outfit. Who are you supposed to be, Death?" G says with a smirk.

"As a matter of fact, yes. I am the Grim Reaper." is the reply.

"Well, you look exactly as I imagined you would."

"I appear in the form you are most comfortable seeing me in. You were taught from youth that my appearance is as such, and so, now that you have died, I appear in that exact form." returned the Reaper.
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 8:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This information sort of took our hero by surprise. He is dead? No way.

"I'm [censored] dead? No way!" shouted G.

"I assure you, you are dead. Right now, your body is becoming a new co-op for some crabs and other sea life. But don't worry. Denial is the first stage. I'm quite used to this." The Reaper said.

"Hey now. Don't give me that. Surely there's something we can work out. I have obligations, a wife, a team, a corporate conglomerate to manage, baronies to defend, a war to start, and a dark elf wizardess to frame for it! I'm swamped! Contractural obligations cannot be forgotten just because someone died!" ranted G, clearly overwhelmed by the thought that he was dead.

"You humans and your negotiations. When you're dead, why can't you just accept that you're dead? Why must you fuss so? It's as if 98% of all humans who die try to either talk their way out of it, or fight me on taking their soul to the final resting place." sighed the Reaper.

"Did you know that 82% of all statistics are made up on the spot?" retorted G.

"Don't get smart with me, Mister. I am Death, the Grim Reaper himself! And If I say you're dead, then that's that!"

"Geez, don't get so testy. I'm just teasing. Don't you have a sense of humor?" G said.

"If I had a sense of humor, I wouldn't be death. There's no humor in this job."

"It sounds like you need a vacation, Mr. Reaper. When was the last time you had one?" G asked curiously.
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 8:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Well, it was around Earth History. There was this so called "Tenth Plague" in a land called Egypt. The temp they hired got a little overzealous and wiped out all of Egypts first born. Said he wanted to make a good first impression. Let me tell you we were cleaning up that mess for hundreds of years afterwards. Crusades, Inquisitions, all started because he wanted to meet a quota ahead of schedule." sighed the Reaper, who sat crosslegged on the floor and put his head in his hand, leaning on a knee.

"Century after century, I slave away, kill those whose time has come and lead them to their makers. Do I get any thanks? No. Do I get a hug? No. All I get is grief. Damn the man!" ranted the Reaper.

"Hey now Grim. You need to turn that frown upside down. You could use a break. How about I make you a deal." grinned G.

"Oh, now here you go. The 'deal' time. Well it wont work."

"No no. Hear me out. Let's say I take, a month or so of your work off your hands. I become the Grim Reaper. You get to do whatever you want for that time. This way, you don't have to go to some temp agency and get a psycho who butchers innocent Egyptians kids. You get a professional."

"And in exchange I suppose you want immortality?" sarcastically replied Grim.

"No, nothing like that. If I want immortality I'll make it with a sexy Vampire. After all, they're a dime a dozen out there. All I want is to be put back into my body, alive again, only this time, on dry land and not dead in the water."

"I don't know. I have my own obligations to keep." But the Reaper was obviously thinking about it...

"And I'm taking those obligations over for you. Think about it. A month of freedom. How much do you get paid for.. reaping, anyway?"

"Paid? I don't get paid..."
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Joined: 11 Feb 2004
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Alchemist, Silversmith
Location: Generally found at the Golden Ivy Tavern. If not there, then on the SpellJammer, his ship.
594,985 Silver Nobles


PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 8:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Good lord. You don't even get paid to do this? My friend, you're certainly getting the short end of the stick. Damn the man, you say? Well in this case, the MAN is whoever gave you this job. I say the MAN damned you! Take a break!"

"You are right, human annoyance! I shall accept your offer of a vacation! Here, you take this and this, and if you've any questions, all you have to do is push the little yellow button on the scythe. Ask it the question that you need to know the answer to, and it will tell you! Not even getting paid. I am taking this vacation! You will live again!" ranted the Reaper as he handed over his scythe and long black robe to G'nort. Giving him the power of death for a months time.

G grinned to himself as he thought about what kinds of powers he now had, albeit a limited amount of time, and then looked to Grim. He suppressed a shudder at seeing the skeletal visage of the Reaper unrobed. There was no body, just bone.

"Umm, you might want to consider getting a tan. There's some nice islands you may want to visit.." he commented.

"Good idea, man! Thank you for everything! I'll be back in a month. In fact, have your life back right now!" Grim said, snapping his fingers.

And G'nort appeared on the dock, laying on his back. He sat up and shook his head, wondering about the weird dream he'd just had.

"That was by far the strangest....." as he sat up, he clenched his hand over something. Looking down, he saw folded neatly beside him, an oversized black hooded robe. On top of that, a long, deadly looking scythe.

"Oy vey. A month playing death." he sighed. Then perked up. "Sounds like fun! God I'm too clever for my own good."

Looking around a few moments.. "First thing to go is that stupid bird!"
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594,985 Silver Nobles


PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 3:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, so it was slightly longer than a Month. G didn't mind, after all, he wasn't exactly playing his role as planned.

When the month passed, he remembered that hey, he was supposed to be playing the role of the Grim Reaper. Guessed that the election and TDL stuff just overwhelmed his priorities a bit. The good news is he knew who had to go and unless there's some profit in it for him, he doesn't waste time.

His last couple weeks of taking souls where they were supposed to go consisted of...

"I'm Dead?"
"Yes"
"Can I..."
"No." *ZAP!* On their way.

After about the 8,376th person trying to con their way out of dying, G began to wonder why Death had such a hard time taking people on their way. He was still a couple thousand behind schedule, but considering he had just started two weeks ago and was almost caught up, he could meet the deadline in little time.

Good thing it was the TDL All Star Break.

"I'm Dead?"
"Yes"
"Can I..."
"No." *ZAP!* On your way.

"I'm Dead?"
"Yes"
"Can I..."
"No, I just don't care." *ZAP!* On your way.

"I'm Dead?"
"Yes"
"Can I..."
"No, you're too stupid to live." *ZAP!* On his way.

"I'm Dead?"
"Yes"
"Can I..."
"No, I'm married and you're only moderately hot." *ZAP!* On her way.

Maybe Death let people talk to make it more interesting. Ah well, not his problem, G was only filling in temporarily.
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594,985 Silver Nobles


PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 3:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Now he was approximately 12 people short on his list. He'd sat to take a breather and look it over to see when the next appointment was. As he sipped from a cappuccino, or whatever that annoying coffee was, there was a sudden *POP* sound beside him.

*POP!!*

"Gah!"

"Hello there, remember me?"

"Gah! Grim! You're back! Where have you been? I've been wondering what youve been up to all this time, and wondering when you were going to take your awesome Scythe back. Nice tan, by the way.. where'd you go, Acapulco? Looking good, I bet you got some nice beach time, eh?"

"Well if you must know, it's better in the Bahamas. White sandy beaches, clear blue Oceans. Ahh, it was so relaxing. You are lucky, mon, I almost didn't come back. But I knew you wouldn't be able to handle this for much longer. How far behind are you, six, seven t'ousand?"

"Actually, I'm only down by twelve."

"Dat's it, mon? Wow, you are much better at this den I t'ought. Maybe when I go on my next vacation I'll see 'bout gettin' you dis job."

"Why are you talking like that? You said Bahamas, not Jamaca." G queried.

"Oh. Well, I always happen to pick up an accent when I go on a vacation. That Egypt incident, I was talkin' like I was from Ceti Alpha Five for 200 years afta. Dem was good times, I tell you. Cept for cleaning up after dat temp."

"Riiiiiiiiight. So then, I guess you're ready to take the job back, eh?"

"If I must, den I must." Grim replied, reaching out and taking back the Scythe and Robe. "Oh, I must tell you. You were never really dead. You were only passed out and in about six more seconds you woulda washed ashore and dis hot little number was gonna ressucitate you. You really gotta learn to not go into da light right away, mon. Give time some chance."

"I hate you. You know that? I really hate you."

"Dat's okay mon, I'm used to bein' hated. Anyway, it's time for me to go, you'll make a good death some day. See you in Fifty t'ree years!"

BAMF! With that, Grim was gone.

"Fifty.. what the hell! GET BACK HERE!" G'nort yelled out, shaking his fist at the darkness. While standing on the dock. At night. With people who hang out at docks at night staring at him strangely.

G turned at glared at them all.

"What? You people never saw a guy who found out when he's going to die before?"

G then stormed from the dock, muttering and mumbling all the way back to his Baronial manor.
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