Confessions

[Gabby]

Sunday morning -- wee hours

Gabby pushed the window upwards, cringing as she heard the wood creak in resistance. "S**t..." she whispered to herself as one leg cleared the windowsill and she pulled her body over, only to lose her balance and fall to the hard floor. She felt pain shoot up her left wrist as she tried to break her fall. "Owowowow!"

Normally Rix was a very sound sleeper, but this was not really a normal night. He woke up with half of the bed empty, and couldn't get completely back to sleep. Gabby had never up and left for long, and he was about to wake and text to be sure everything was okay. But the fall and her sounds had him bolt up, squinting. "Gabby? You okay?" he hopped up then, hurrying toward her.

"S**t...s**t...s**t. Oh God...you have such a great sense of humor!" She even shook her fist at the ceiling as she whispered that. Throat was cleared and she called out, "Yeah, babe. I'm a'ight. Just uh...Oh hi. Here you are. Right here in the same room. Wow. Okay, I was just uh...practicing some dance moves and uh...I sorta lost my balance and fell and now my arm feels all jacked up..." The last part was true at least; she was holding onto her wrist.

"Who you talkin' to?" he glanced up at the ceiling, then back to her before frowning. "You got dressed up for dance moves? You know you don't have to make up stuff. I don't mind if you're goin' out, just lemme know that way I don't worry! Also so I can get a pillow to cuddle with and pretend it's you." He gave a lopsided grin before sitting beside her, gingerly taking her arm. "Lemme see. Anythin' else hurt?"

"I ain' dressed up!" Spoken a bit too sharply and defensively as she looked down at her flannel pj bottoms, tank top, penguin slippers, and hoodie. "You callin' me a liar? Hmph." Gabby and guilt didn't go together well at all; it tended to make her cranky because she knew she messed up and had never meant to. "No, I don' think so but I can't really move it." She had been too panicked when she heard Rix's voice to really pay that much attention to the pain but now that the inevitable was upon her, she was noticing it.

"Well wearin' clothes is dressin' up," Rix said with another snicker as he lightly inspected her wrist. And what he said would be true evidenced by his wearing absolutely nothing. "Liar? About what? Dancin'? You know you don't gotta practice the moves either!" he gave another nod, then frowned at her wrist. "I should go get ya some aspirin or somethin' and maybe like a splint. So where'd ya go off to?"

"I was dancin'! I told ya I was dancin'...f***. Okay fine. I left. King sent me a text and I went to confront her and punched her inna face and busted her lip." She winced at every touch to her wrist. "I think I need to see a doc or somethin', yo." It was starting to swell already. Gabby's body was tense and she pulled her arm away from him so she could pace around. "I just...like...I just snuck back in 'cause I didn' wanna wake ya up and s**t...which I did. Sorry." She swallowed heavily and kept pacing around, finally clamping her right hand around her left wrist, letting out a little cry as she attempted to immobilize it.

"It's okay! I don't really need much sleep. I'm weird like that!" he called out before he came back with a wrist brace; hey, Rix was accident prone so he kept this stuff around! He carefully slid it past Gabby's hand and onto her wrist. "Okay, lemme get dressed and we'll go on to the ER. Uh, the one where we aren't banned from," he said with a light chuckle before brushing a kiss across her cheek. "You punched her? Ooh, what'd she do? And thank you for defendin' my honor!" That cry of his had him tearing up and sniffling a bit. He did not like seeing Gabby in pain. Not one bit! He then hurried to toss some clothes on.

"I punched her for throwin' that damn can of soda atcha. And she...didn' do anything really. Didn' hit me back or nothin'. She uh...she said she wanted me to be happy and she thought you were better for me than her..." Gabby's gaze slanted to the left and down to the floor and then she was on the move again, holding onto the brace and clanking her lip rings against her teeth both in pain and because of the anxiety she felt. "We uh...she took me to the shelter she started 'cause of the mess with me and Noah. It's really nice. We ate some chicken and ice cream with peanut butter and sprinkles and had some donuts and candy...." Gabby was rambling, her voice higher pitched and her words coming out a mile a minute.

"Yeah? Well that's good! I mean, you punched her and she didn't hit you back, and thought I was better for you? That's nice of her! Maybe she realized how mean she's been." He had his shirt and pants on, and then shoes all very quickly. He was used to Gabby speaking fast, and figured it was just due to pain. "Come on, let's getcha to the hospital!" Rix then leaned down, looking to pick her up all chivalrous-like.

[Gabby]

"Rix...listen...I uh. damnit. So tonight...S**t. My wrist is killin' me." She winced and then looked out the window, just now noticing that the sun had started to rise. She had been gone all night. "I...I..." Gabby just stopped talking and stuttering and just stared at him.

"You what?" he stopped, since he was right now at eye level. He still smiled at her, hands moving to lift her.

"King..." Gabby swallowed, averting her gaze as she backed up. "She asked me somethin' and it freaked me out. Cause...like...I dunno, I'm just...I'm scared now. And things are movin' really fast and...and...I do dumb things. Yanno? I like...I don' think sometimes...and I do dumb things that are bad. And...I like...I don' mean to. I just do. I just get scared and...F***!" Gabby finally had to yell to release some of the pressure she felt building up in her head; the throbbing had already started along her temples. She had herself worked up nearly into a fit.

He winced at the yell, and again stopped all movement. His head then tilted like a puppy dog, brows knitting as he drew his bottom lip in his mouth. "Gabby, just calm down. It's okay. What happened?"

"King asked me if I loved you...and..." Suddenly, Gabby's reasoning seemed so weak. She had made this impulsive decision because she had freaked out. "And I got scared...and I..." She leaned over, almost in half and pressed her forearms against the tops of her thighs, taking in deep breaths and exhaling them slowly as she tried not to hyperventilate.

Rix set his hands on Gabby's shoulders, hoping that he could help her calm down by his touch. "You what? Gabby, it's okay! Everythin's fine! Just slow down, take it easy, okay? Don't work yourself up!"

Her voice was barely audible as she finally confessed. She continued to stand bent in half but her breathing was no longer so noisy. She was no longer so noisy. "I...slept with her." There was so much more she needed to say, to defend herself in some way...except she knew there was no excuse. There was nothing that could make this situation okay. There was nothing to erase the pain she was sure she would see in his eyes...if she could ever meet his gaze again.

For a moment his hands stayed on her shoulders, and then they dropped off. He blinked a few times, trying to figure out if what he just heard was right. But she wasn't looking at him, and realization dawned on him. He stood back up, He could feel his heart break and his face was about to reflect that, so he turned away. The phone in his pocket was thrown to the ground, and shattered on impact. He then opened the door and walked out, not looking back.

"I freaked out because I am scared to death of being in love with you and having this perfect baby. I'm scared to death you will leave me...or I will mess this all up." Which he just did. And she had. Gabby's sobs wracked her small frame and she wrapped her arms around her waist as she stood there staring at his back as he walked out of her life.

He stopped as he heard her, turning around and standing in the doorway. His face was a mixture of anguish and anger. "Love me? You don't love me! You've never said you loved me! If you loved me you wouldn't have slept with someone else! Especially someone who's treated me and you like s**t! And now what? What am I supposed to do about this?"

"I didn't realize I did until she asked me! And I freaked out. I..." Gabby shook her head and just stared at him. "You're right. I can't love you if I slept with someone else. And I couldn' have loved King and then slept with you. I ain' capable of love." Gabby turned around and walked slowly towards the table by the door and grabbed her bag, wincing as the pain seared up her arm. "You ain' gotta do nothin' 'bout this, Rixie. I'll do it." The door was pulled open once again and she stepped out into the cold night, not even feeling the biting chill of the wind, though she didn’t have on a coat or other winter clothing.

"Do what?" he walked after her, and the door was practically thrown off its hinges. "I love you, Gabby! This isn't really how I thought I'd tell you, but there it is! And that's our baby! And I want us to be a family! I just... I'm hurt and I don't know how I should feel. I thought I wanted to leave and just... be away from you but hearin' you cry and... it hurts now but it'd hurt more if we weren't together."

"Doin' what I shoulda done from the beginnin'...I'ma leave before I cause ya anymore hurt." She would remember the look on his face for the rest of her life, it would haunt her. "I'm so sorry, Rix. I'm so sorry...you deserve so much better than me." She called over her shoulder as she continued down the sidewalk, pulling her phone from her pocket. "I didn' mean to be sucha f***up. I f*** everything up. I dunno how not to. I dunno how to just let myself trust somebody enough to let them stay close and be happy." She watched him follow her and motioned with her good arm. "Go back home. Go back." Her sobs made the words nearly unintelligible.

He kept walking after her, and it was clear that his eyes were red and tears freely streaming down his face. "No. I don't have a home if it isn't with you. I'm mad at you but... but I'd be even more mad at myself if I let you go. I wanna be with you! I'll get over this and we'll get past this... and we'll be happy like we've been. But I don't wanna lose you!"

Gabby stopped and turned around, the tears blinding her so that all she saw was the outline of him. "Rix please just let me go. Let me go and we'll talk soon. I can't do this right now. We can't do this right now...it won't do any good at all." She took hesitant steps towards him and then wrapped her arms around his waist. "I'm mad at me too. We just need some space to breathe and figure out what to do next. Just...know...if I was capable of love, I'd love you." Then she slipped away from him and walked slowly down the street, dialing her phone as best she could through the blur of tears and with her shaking hands.

He didn't say another word as she slipped away from him, just hanging his head and shoulders. He'd likely stay like that for a good long while.


Taken from live play. Thanks to the player of Rix.