Fytco Toy Company Presents:

Stories of the those from House Dragoon Talanador, the Company of the Dragon and the Tavern itself.

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Rena A Cronin
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Post by Rena A Cronin »

I want one!!! Maybe two!!!
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Post by G »

Presenting: The Scathing Scathachian , ISUELT!!!
Special features and accessories:
Stick It Where The Sun Don't Shine Stabbing Sword™
Several mix and match tattoos.
Secret Hidden tattoos that only show up under warm water. Hint, hint.
Three dozen weapon other weapons that fit in the convienently neck shaped gripping hand.
CENSORED bar for those moments where this Issy speaks like a Scathachian. You know what I mean.

Several Choice Phrases Including:
  • 1. "Great Hera...."
    2. "Oh for the love of..."
    3. "No, I won't put on a [CENSORED] dress!"
    4. "Yeah....no, I'm not really the damsel in distress type."
    5. "Listen cher, do yourself a favor and quit hitting on me before I put you through that table over there."
    6. "If you ask me, Scathach's blades would do a world of good whooping on your [CENSORED]."
    7. "Ride easy, it's a rough world out there."
    8. "Man, that G'nort really is a sexy beast."
And many more!

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Last edited by G on Tue Aug 26, 2014 7:29 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Post by G »

Presenting: JenJen the Terrible. JENAI RAVENLOCK!!!
Special features and accessories:
Nerf Pistol with six shots™ for those times when murder just isn't allowed.
L'il Fire Elemental(Doubles as a campfire for roasting marshmellows)
Cute little pink bunny slippers for that time you want to see her waking up in the morning.
Anatomically correct. Trust us.
Allergic reaction to ponies.

Several Choice Phrases Including:
  • 1. "By fire be purged!"
    2. "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
    3. "Tastes like burning!"
    4. "I hit more trees than a blind Tarzan."
    5. "In case of me, break glass."
    6. "What makes you think it's my fault you don't understand what I am saying?"
    7. "::Sniff, Sniff:: Can you smell what the Jenai is cookin'?"
    8. "Man, that G'nort really is really hot."
And many more!

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Last edited by G on Tue Aug 26, 2014 7:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Post by G »

Presenting: Grease Lightning, CLAIRE FARRON!!!
Special features and accessories:
Ridiculously impossible and impractical "GunSwitchBlade."
TreSemme Shampoo and Conditioner: Because keeping pink hair flowing and silky takes real work.
Bottle of Tarnishield: So that your armor... and impractical gunswitchblade.. always looks its best.
Photo-luminescent (Glow in the Dark) Bright Pink Hair in case you're afraid of the dark.
Disapproving glare action.
And much, much more!

Several Choice Phrases Including:
  • 1. "I want to spend the night with Zack. No wait, Noct. No, I mean.. oh it really doesn't matter now, does it?"
    2. "Shh, Anubis. Go play in your sandbox or something while the grown ups do their thing."
    3. "I reject the ArchMage's alignment and claim Spearmint instead. Whatever that means."
    4. "That's a shame. I was rather looking forward to another chance to smack you around after the last time. Lucky for you, Shadow's far nicer than I am. I hope he stabs you in the throat."
    5. "Peanut butter is better anyways."
    6. "That's pretty...can I trade you four kittens and a sparkly goblin to do your bidding in exchange for it? I'll even throw in some jelly beans. The good kind, not the black licorice ones. "
    7. "My gods, I think I'm in love with the Hotness that is G."
And many more!

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Last edited by G on Tue Aug 26, 2014 7:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Post by G »

Presenting: The ArchNerd, LEM DEANGELO!!!
Special features and accessories:
Horrifically Scented Twilight Island Spell "Foul Fog."
Major Nerd accessories of Glasses and a Pocket Protector.
Specially designed magic wand designed to fit into the special Pocket Protector.
Staff, because he's an ArchNerd, and Sword, so he can do the cool kids sport!
Special Twilight Island Event Approval Stamp.
Jesse Nullifier™
And much, much more!

Several Choice Phrases Including:
  • 1. "I'm a catch. My mom said so."
    2. "This tournament is legit, maybe even too legit, so it may definitely proceed."
    3. "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."
    4. "Tentative registration. Depends on if I can squeeze the tourney in between my rigorous nap schedule."
    5. "I worked out one time a few months ago. I should be ready for this."
    6. "The noise, I shall bringeth."
    7. "I might not be napping that day, so prepare yourselves for blammity. Lem is in."
    8. "Boy, I wish I was as cool as G is. I can't even compete!"
And many more!

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Last edited by G on Tue Aug 26, 2014 7:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by G »

Presenting: The Anvil, ARISTOTLE KRUGER ALLEN!!!
Special features and accessories:
Tight fitting "Anvil" T-shirt to accentuate muscle definition.
Boom Box for those fights when you must absolutely, positively have music during fights.
-Boom Box comes with relatively small playlist of three of G's entrance themes.
MacKenzie's Smelling Salts, for after those knock-out punches. Only works on The Anvil.
Spare boot laces.
How To Dueling Guide.

And much, much more!

Several Choice Phrases Including:
  • 1. "The Anvil will be there! No bells though, just a whole lot of smack down!"
    2. "The Anvil is pulling something new out of inventory. "
    3. "The Anvil is ready, though he needs a date and time to show up."
    4. "This, like so many things needs to have The Anvil. I'm in."
    5. "The Anvil is here to Fight!"
    6. "I want in....cross my heart and hope to....well knock you out of the way with a good hammer thrust."
    7. "I am already there, everyone else will have to travel through real time and catch up the old fashioned way...don't worry I will have Krugey Cookies."
    8. "The Anvil admires G, his mad skills in the rings, and his unbelievably spectacular ring entrances. The Anvil wishes he was G!"
And many more!

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Last edited by G on Tue Aug 26, 2014 7:28 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Napoleon Bonarat
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Post by Napoleon Bonarat »

Placing an order for Lem and Kruger actions figures right now!
Napoleon Bonarat
PiRATes From Heck | Champions of Mythos | Badside Brawlers | CrushBob
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Issy
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Post by Issy »

You know, sometimes it physically hurts me how awesome you are, G.
I would totally buy one of each of these!
Isuelt DeRomiano
Batten Industries



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Post by G »

Presenting: The Dangerously Psychotic, DRACINA HEMDAGG!!!
Special features and accessories:
Plain Brown Bag™ filled with the latest grown up accessories.
No really, don't let kids look in that Plain Brown Bag™.
Batteries Included for items contained the Plain Brown Bag™, which children should not be looking in.
Flask of Vampire Blood. Not that Vampires really have blood, but they drink it. So it's blood for Vampires to drink. Best keep the kids away from this one.
Anatomically correct, full of surprises.
An "I Love You" Teddy Bear because we've decided she really needs a Teddy Bear since it's cute.

And much, much more!

Several Choice Phrases Including:
  • 1. "Well, it is a villain's duty to place the hero in a difficult-to-escape deathtrap."
    2. "Come, my childer, we have meddling fools to deal with."
    3. "I'm already among you."
    4. "Shh... don't cry, child, it's almost over, I promise."
    5. "I command the night, you fools. You cannot do battle with the night."
    6. "No one escapes, no one lives,"
    7. "I find G'nort to be devastatingly attractive."
And many more!

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This item was issued to me as a challenge. Easy peasy. :)
Last edited by G on Tue Aug 26, 2014 7:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
G'nort Dragoon-Talanador
Duel of Swords Legend. Best In The World™.
First All Time DoS Title Holder.
Listed as "Daddy" in your daughters contacts list.
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Post by G »

Presenting: Peachy Keen PEACHES HAGGARTY!!!
Special features and accessories:
Three different colored martinis, because calling calls for a relaxing time afterwards.
An AK 47 because Peaches just looks well out of place with one, so to throw you for a loop, she can go psychotic if you want with a rifle.
Extra large box of Captain Crunch that you should hide for her.
Inflatable chest in case you want to see her assets more clearly.
Fully functional and anatomically correct. How wonderful!

And much, much more!

Several Choice Phrases Including:
  • 1. "I barely recognize my face after nights like this. "
    2. "I NEED TO FIND A JOB! this whole being sober an clean and not dealing has moths in my wallet. "
    3. "I will do terribly amazing things to you if you bring me sweet and sour shrimp. Egg flower soup, too! ."
    4. "It is moments like this that I question our friendship!"
    5. "Sleeps like a possum? Don't those things smell? Tell him to shower. "
    6. "And one box of Captain Crunch. Note to self: Hide from Terry."
    7. "I heard G's the best, in the ring and in the bed."
And many more!

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Post by G »

Presenting: The Badsider Broot JAKE THRASH!!!
Special features and accessories:
Limited selection of Badsider Brews, including Broot, Goblin Raspberry Brew, Banes Brew, Beatdown Bold, Blue, and much, much more!
Special "Punch'em inna face" arm action!
Badsider Hydra Beat Down Red Promotional poster!
Select Ales with classic 'Break Bottle and now you have a sharp weapon' action!
Plush PiRATe Mini-Thug because even the toughest need to take a nap.


And much, much more!

Several Choice Phrases Including:
  • 1. "Wanna show your love of Broot? Why wouldn't you? "
    2. "Punch'em inna face!"
    3. "Best of the Arena? I guess we'll find out!"
    4. "I guess I should sign up."
    5. "This challenge has the Diamond's amused approval."
    6. "What do you get your Bad Boy or Girl for Xmas? Get 'em Bad Santa! "
    7. "G is so good looking, if I looked half as good as him I'd have half as many of the girls drooling over me!!"
And many more!

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Napoleon Bonarat
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Post by Napoleon Bonarat »

Everyone needs a nap! Even Top Thugs!

::placing an order for quite a few---great gifts!::
Napoleon Bonarat
PiRATes From Heck | Champions of Mythos | Badside Brawlers | CrushBob
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G
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Location: Generally found at the Golden Ivy Tavern. If not there, then on the SpellJammer, his ship.

Post by G »

Presenting: The Reluctant Overlord Set! Gren Blockman, Tara Rynieyn and Alfred the Unicorn!!

Special features and accessories:

Gren Blockman!

Hands up in frustration action move.
Blank expressions.
Ten Foot Pole, he would not touch Tara with this.
A set of comic books, including "Arachnid-Man"

Tara Rynieyn!

Quill and Parchment set to dictate letters to the dueling venues.
Jar of Mayonnaise, with which she will torture Gren.
Chinese Take Out, since her last restaurant was closed for nefarious reasons, or legitimate. Depending on which one you talk to.
Pleasure Staff. Let's face it, 50 husbands? Yeah it needs to be large.

Alfred the Unicorn!

Saddle, no matter how well it fits, it won't stay on.
Horse Rider magazine. Not for children or Jockeys. For Male Horse Entertainment.
Bouquet of Gardenias, because even Unicorns need to eat fancy.


And much, much more!

Several Choice Phrases Including:

Gren:
  • 1. "Gren Blockman. Metaphorical Punching Bag."
    2. "You seem to run into a lot of dead bodies that just happen to be laying around in your presence."
    3. “It’s time to relax, for just one day at least. No being a Ranger, no being an Overlord. No frustrations. No Tara, no Alfred, no mayonnaise. Ahhhhh.”
    4. "That’s a staff, ma’am. And it’s a weapon, not a euphemism. Moving right along...“
    5. “ ...and that is why it is so important to reduce our carbon footprint on RhyDin’s forests by recycling our plastics and paper.”
    6. “Hey! It’s that guy!"
    7. "Man, if I were as cool as G'nort, I wouldn't have to do all this postive press and sign autographs! I'm jealous of his sweet moves!"
Tara:
  • 1. "Yer my underling. Kneel an' swear fealty!"
    2. "Good God Simon."
    3. "Dear Foolish Mortals I Will Never Understand if I Live To Be Another Thousand Years Old (and I shall)... "
    4. "Yes, it is I, Tara Rynieyn, the tireless advocate for you people to continue breathing, once again with an important announcement!"
    5. "So instead of seeing Blockhead versus Eddie, I got treated to Lord Shadow and that slightly deranged Japanese chick that always manages to look like she's one samurai short of a proper Seppuku. "
    6. "Dearest Forest Virgin"
    7. "G'nort Dragoon-Talanador of the impossibly long name. I want to find out if something else on his body is impossibly long!!"
Alfred:
  • 1. “I think I changed my mind, Gren. After all, it’s rutting season. Don’t you know we’re endangered? I have to go repopulate the species!”
    2. “I swear to Mother Nature that if one of these little crumb snatchers yanks on my mane, I’m gonna plant both my back hooves into your crotch.”
    3. “Yeah, yeah. Happy. Magic. Sunshine. Rainbows. Let’s just get the humiliation over with.”
    4. “If you don’t hurry up, I’m going to tell them all the embarrassing details I know about you. Like how you cry after sex. Oh, I’m sorry, did *that* one slip out?”
    5. "Ramming Speeeeed!!!!"
    6. “I left a delicious bale of hay for *this*? This hero business doesn’t seem worth it. I thought I’d get more babes doing all this “noble steed” stuff.”
    7. “Of course I do. I’m a big Gwyneth Paltrow fan. She can ride me like Lady Godiva any day.”
    8. "That G'nort guy? Oh, I'd let him ride me more than Gwyneth Paltrow! Not that he would. Cause he's not into animals at all.. Just saying I would let him."

NEW FEATURE!
When you pair Gren with either the Tara or Alfred figures, it gives them special "Matched Pair" Exchanges!

Gren and Alfred:
  • 1. Gren: “Sort of, but they didn't have a spiritual catharsis. I was thinking more like Ghost, with Patrick Swayze, where his good deeds allow him to go to heaven where he’ll be reunited with his lost love.”
    Alfred: “I figured you for a Patrick Swayze fan.”
    Gren: “What does *that* mean?”
    Alfred: “Nothing at all, big guy. Carry on.”

    2. "This is great! A real Comic-Con! I've never seen so many comic books! There's plenty of holes I’d like to fill on my "want list" . . .”
    "That's funny, I was just telling Imogene this morning about a hole I'd like to fill"

    3. Gren: “Hey, wait a minute! Where did those flowers go?”
    Alfred: “You didn’t think you were the only one who was going to get a fancy meal, did you? I helped myself”
    Gren: “Do you know what those flowers were?”
    Alfred: “*Tasty*!”
Gren and Tara:
  • 1. Tara: Was that a tone?
    Gren: No, it was resigned defeat. I've been practicing over the last year or so I've been dealing with you.

    2. Gren: And you've killed again! What is wrong with you?
    Tara: I haven't killed 'gain!
    Gren: You seem to run into a lot of dead bodies that just happen to be laying around in your presence.

    3. Tara: Say how awesome in the brainpan I am!
    Gren Blockman: You're not awesome in the brainpan! You're warped in the brainpain! You won't corrupt my vote or my soul! I can't imagine what you would do to the guilds if you were in charge!
And many more!

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Post by G »

Presenting: El Conquistador, SALVADOR DELAHADA!!!

Special features and accessories:
Nice black overcoat that goes nicely with that svelte body of his on a rainy day!
Astroglide™ lubricant. Don't look this up, you know what it's for.
Clementine scented body lotion. For after you've used the Astroglide™.
Azian Invazion Swag shirts! He loved that team so much, he had to have those!
A Little Black Book. Let's not kid ourselves, you KNOW you're in there. Probably more than once!


And much, much more!

Several Choice Phrases Including:
  • 1. "All the AZN girls are beautiful. I especially love the way they kick my ass."
    2. "Tara, My love. You gorgeous creature. Rena usually sits on the table. Just saying."
    3. "Another excuse to get my face punched in lots? I'm all over this."
    4. "The thought of having to root for Matt leaves me slightly nauseous. I wonder if this is how G'nort felt having to root for Crew."
    5. "Salvador, repping Beat Down and drinking Badsider."
    6. "Now on sale! And by sale, we mean people have been throwing these things out for free. Or in the garbage. But they're acquirable! So get yours now"
    7. "I'm hungry for some Deathcake! It's like.. cake.. only... Death."
    8. "G's really the only man I ever want to touch me like a priest."
And many more, and some choice ones in Spanish that can't even be printed here!

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G
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Location: Generally found at the Golden Ivy Tavern. If not there, then on the SpellJammer, his ship.

Post by G »

Presenting: The H.E.I.C., Rayvinn Darkmont!!!

Special features and accessories:
  • Her favorite alcoholic beverages, Fae wine and dirty martinis (with mixer!) in easy to refill mini bottles because we have no doubt that you'll be drinking it too!
    A large assortment of clothing as well as a wide selection of shoes to place over those lovely feet of hers. The shoes detach, not the feet.
    A bow and arrow set, when you want your exclusive Rayvinn action figure to play William Tell, whoever that is!
    An intricate set of various knives for when you know your exclusive Rayvinn action figure will threaten your all your exclusive Fytco Action Figures.
    Deed to the Arena! [Not Shown] for when you want to make your exclusive G'nort figure feel bad about himself!

And much, much more!

Several Choice Phrases Including:
  • 1. "Can I kill him? Please?"
    2. "I'm pretty sure I can inflict better wounds. We should put this theory to the test! "
    3. "Jewell, you don't think his hair is prettier than mine, do you? I swear I will chop it off."
    4. "I have nicer hair, don't I?"
    5. "Why is the alcohol gone? Well, who drank it all?" *hic!* "Oh, that's who."
    6. "Do NOT make me stab you."
    7. "Do not touch me. Ever."
    8. "That G'nort is most decidedly the most ruggedly handsome male creature I have ever laid my eyes upon. If only he didn't open his mouth and make me hate him so, I could see myself making eyes his way!"
And many more, and some rather colorful ones in elvish that shan't be printed here and we probably totally made up, anyway!

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