That was dumb. Let’s start again. I was never much for diary keeping. I never saw the point of putting my words to paper, never saw a reason to confide my deepest darkest secrets in a physical object. But more and more I think if I want to get my head on straight that I first need to empty it of all the excess that lingers there. So here I am, sitting on the fire escape so I can write without Kane wondering what’s going on. I’m doing this for him, you know. So maybe he won’t have to listen to my shit anymore. He’s got enough on his plate, he doesn’t need to be looking after me too.
I think he’s going to work soon, something out near the spaceport so he could be gone awhile. He wants me to work with him, thinks I’d be happier. I think he’d just feel better knowing he can keep an eye on me all of the time. It’d be fun… working with your boyfriend you know, but probably a bad idea. We need the money I make and I guess I’m not wholly keen on leaving my livelihood up to the guy I go home to every night. Is that weird? Mom and Dad worked together for a long time and seldom had issues so I dunno. Who ****ing knows, I’ve got no clue.
I think this writing shit is just making me more confused. Maybe I should start over or something. Again. I bought this pretty purple journal from this little corner shop in the old part of the market on my way home. It was only like eight silver and the cover’s got little stars that twinkle at night and the paper looks old but isn’t. It’s probably magicked and all and that means I probably shouldn’t write anything important in it, but c’est la vie. Okay, so where to start. The beginning is always good, right?
Okay.
The beginning.
Hmm.
So. My name’s Adelaide Victoria Alcar. Everyone calls me Addie and I don’t really get called Adelaide unless I’m in trouble. I’m a girl, duh, and I’m eighteen years old. I’ll be nineteen in Vapniyno. That’s um, February. The 15th to be exact. A late Valentine’s present to my parents. Haha. Speaking of my parents, my dad’s name is Zack and my mom’s name is Raven. My mom passed away when I was eleven so it’s just me and my dad now. I don’t have any brothers or sisters. Nope. Only child. Lucky me right? I’ve got a pretty big extended family though. Lots of uncles and aunts and cousins and pretty much three whole realms worth of family. Some by blood, some by marriage, some by adoption, and some just because family is what you make of it.
I was born in 2014 (by the Rhydin calendar) in Provance, Nosgoth. So considering I’m writing this in 2015, how does that work? That’s a really good question. See, I came back to save the world.
You think I’m kidding. It looks absolutely ridiculous written down but Kane and I were sent back seventeen years in our past to try and stop what was happening in Nosgoth in what will be the future. Nosgoth’s not around here, it is its own realm that you usually have to take a portal to get to. But a lot of my family goes back and forth between Nosgoth and Rhydin and my parents are actually from there originally. But my dad was adopted by his “uncle” (not blood, just chosen family) and not long after, my dad and mom moved to Nosgoth and had me.
I was raised in Nosgoth almost exclusively. Most of the time in Provance, but I spent plenty of time all over the realm. My grandpa’s actually the King of Nosgoth which sorta makes me a princess, I guess. Kane only calls me that when I’m being a brat though so I don’t really like hearing it. My dad’s a prince but he won’t ever be king thankfully. I don’t think he’d really want to be anyways. If anything ever happens to my grandpa or he just decides he doesn’t want to be King anymore, my Uncle Raziel is next in line. He’s a twin but he’s older than Gabriel by a couple minutes so that makes him the heir. Uncle Gabe doesn’t really care though which is pretty nice. Makes it easier on the family and all. Then I had two aunts that would have been somewhere in the line after my dad but they were taken away a long time ago when the old Alliance fell apart. Pretty dark times, I guess.
But we’ve got new allies now and they call them the Trinity. Nosgoth is one third of it while a place called Lucis and a place called Valhalla are the other two thirds. It isn’t Valhalla like in the Norse mythology but rather a place my godmother rules over and watches over the cycle of life and shit. It's kinda tied to Lucis and the place my godmom's originall from. Lucis is where my godfather was from, another kingdom kind of like Nosgoth. I used to spend part of my summers there with my cousins. They aren’t actually my cousins. They’re my godparents’ kids but they might as well be my cousins. Avy and Alex are twins and they’re a little bit younger than me, not quite a year. Probably the closest thing I ever had to having a brother and sister. Especially after my mom died since they were around a whole lot more.
Man. That was like seven years ago. For a really long time, I didn’t remember much about mom dying but lately like the past six months, I think it’s coming back to me. Kane thinks it might just be nightmares but I think they mean more than that.
Yeah… the past six months or so has been kinda rough. I think it’s why I got this journal but now that I’m thinking about it, the words don’t want to come out. So maybe I’ll write about other stuff instead and hopefully that’ll free up some space for the stuff I can’t say.
It’s raining so I’m gonna go back inside. Maybe next time.
~Addie V. Alcar