Uncovered (A Journal)

[Claire Gallows]

“You sure everything’s good?” Claire chewed at her lip as she shifted the phone from one shoulder to the other. The day outside of her room’s window was dreary and grey, blustery judging by the way the winds ripped the remaining leaves from their branches on a tall oak just outside.

“Everything is going perfectly, Lady Light. I have checked in with both Dragon’s Gate as well as the youth center and thanks to everyone’s help, things are right on track for the day.” Gio had to speak up over the din of the growing crowd at the Farron-Queen Memorial Youth Centre in Dockside, far across town and well away from where his boss stewed in her boredom in a hospital bed.

“No issues with that march or whatever is going on?” The news had reported on it intermittently but aside from some Rhydinian garden variety clashing of opinions and fists, it was only mildly concerning. The movement that had risen around the time of the election had been cause for pause but after a little investigation, the enforcement group had found that they were best left alone. Often, Claire found, the best way to deal with such things was with by defense rather than offense. Until they gave them a reason to act there was no reason to get in a tizzy.

“Oh no, you know how it goes. A whole lot of rah rah, sis boom bah. A whole lot of nothing.” Gio sounded bored by the prospect, going so far as to deadpan the cheer chant. At the very least it made Claire giggle.

“Bunch of hot air. Okay… well… I guess that is all I have… Pandora doing okay with everything?” Claire had already asked that but Gio entertained the repetition without annoyance.

“Miss Fox has done brilliantly as always.” He answered with no shortage of pride and, dare Claire say it, affection. The fae cambion cleared his throat and changed the subject. “And Mister Gallows and the kids?”

“He took them home for a nap but said they would be back up later.” Claire tried her best not to let her disappointment permeate her tone but it was there just the same, easily detected by a man that knew her better than she wanted to admit.

“They will be back soon.” He assured her. It was a small consolation but she brushed it off with a shrug that Gio could not see.

“Yeah. Okay. Let me know if anyone needs anything. I will talk to you later.” With farewells exchanged, she turned her phone face down on the bedside table and exchanged it for one of two leather bound books sitting beside it. The one underneath, for all intents and purposes, appeared to be blank. At least, to anyone but Claire. She left it there though, taking the topmost into her lap with the pen she had pinned in its cover. The other one was given a look, lingering and furtive. She had only opened it once before, thumbing through the handwriting on each page without stopping to read specific passages. Perhaps once she left she would give it a more in depth look but for now it was left to sit.

The last place she wanted to be was in this bed, away from her friends and family on a day meant to celebrate everything they were fortunate enough to have. Claire was not one to mope, well, not always at least, but **** if she wasn’t feeling sorry for herself. Abruptly she grabbed for the television remote, tugging at the thick cord that kept it tethered to the bed. Much like she had done throughout her stay a thousand times, she rapidly tapped through the channels until they flickered across the screen so quickly that it was practically impossible to tell what was on each. As she reached the end of the list, she huffed out her frustration and slammed the power button. The TV died, Claire tossed the remote aside, and thumped her head back against her pillow.

The silence was uncomfortable. She could hear everything. Down the hallway a supply closet door opened and shut. In the opposite direction, the erratic flicker-beat of a heart monitor said that whomever it was hooked up to was not doing so great. Someone was crying in a conference room a few doors down. The rustle of plastic bags were followed by a heavy thunk on the counter of the nurse’s station a few steps from her door. What she didn’t expect was to recognize the voice that followed.

“Well look at you, Miss Addie, what have you got here?” Kohl, the head charge nurse on the floor, chirped. More rustling followed. Claire tipped her ear to the door a little bit more.

“Food! It’s Thanksgiving after all. Ma… err… Raven gave me a headcount of who all would be here today so I brought some up. This one has turkey… light meat. This one is turkey too, dark meat. Umm, mashed potatoes under here. Sweet potato casserole both with and without marshmallows. Green bean casserole. Deviled eggs. The ones in the foil have diced jalapeno for Dr. Sedgwick.” Some of what Addie rambled off was lost to more rustling. “Dinner rolls, though you may want to warm them up a little to make ‘em squishy again. And then there are cookies and other goodies. I even snuck some dew drops in for you too but don’t tell anyone, they might get jealous.”

“You sweet girl.” Kohl laughed. The noisy smack of a kiss just barely filtered through the crack in Claire’s door. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

“It’s no big deal. Just thought I would say thank you for taking care of your… more difficult patients. I know she isn’t very easy to deal with.” Plastic crinkled, shifting as something else was freed from what sounded like numerous bags. “I brought plates and silverware too. Hopefully that makes it a little easier for you all, having to be here on Thanksgiving.”

“That was quite thoughtful. I’ll have Willa take it to the break room. Want me to page Raven while you’re here?” The rustling died down for a few moments before a new set of footsteps joined the nurse’s station. Soon after the entirety of the holiday dinner feast were carried away. The distant click of a door shutting said they were delivered to their destination.

“No, I have another dinner to get to… thank you though.”

“Did you want to see--”

“No, that won’t be necessary. I really have to go. Eat well!” The footsteps quickly disappeared in opposite directions and once more Claire was left to the silence of her empty room.

[Claire Gallows]

November 24th, 2016

Dear Journal,

Thanksgiving and I am in this stupid room all by myself. Cooper and the twins have been up most of the day but he had to take them home to put them down for the night. Evidently napping on the weird plastic couch in here isn’t very conducive to particularly happy toddlers. Who knew, right? He was kind enough to smuggle me proper food, though if I heard right, Addie the Older brought Thanksgiving-ish food up to the floor for the people stuck working here today. I guess because they are stuck dealing with me. Am I that horrible that entire floors worth of staff must be bribed with food and coffee to make sure that they do not get too motivated to smother me with a pillow as I sleep?

I have not been the easiest to deal with, granted. But come on. Give me some credit. I am just so… so used to doing everything myself. I feel so helpless right now and it makes me angry. It makes me want to lash out and break everything I can reach because never have I felt like such an invalid. It isn’t fair. Well. It wasn’t fair. I am getting better. I am getting better and many in my position are never given that opportunity to do so. I suppose it is something to be thankful for, all things considered. For all of my bitching and moaning, today is meant to be a day of thanks. Plus Raven keeps talking about the power of positive thinking, so **** it, maybe I will give it a try. Okay. What am I thankful for.

I am thankful for Averia and Alexander. I never thought that motherhood was for me and honestly I’m still not fully convinced that I will not screw them up just as bad as I am. But I also never had as true of a purpose as when they were born. Suddenly, the big picture became so much smaller and was encompassed in these two tiny bundles of bright eyes and baby giggles and tiny fists that could only curl around a single finger. They are so smart and beautiful and I just can’t believe that I had a hand in making something so perfect. Two somethings at that! I’m thankful that every step I have taken in life, good or bad, happy or sad, led me to them.

I am thankful for Serah. We have seldom seen eye to eye on anything, whether it was back home or here in Rhydin but she is my blood. She is my sister. And she is important. Sometimes I think she feels like just as much of a lost girl as I do but then there are other times when she is so brave and in control that I can’t help but be proud. She is a tremendous woman and I can’t wait to see where she goes in life.

I am thankful for Cooper. I have said it a number of times but he has been unbelievable the past year. Hell, the past almost three years that I have known him. Has it been that long already? Something like that, assuredly. He has been my rock through some of the worst times of my life. He loves me without regret (even if I am a hot mess and completely bat shit insane) and he loves the twins as if they are his own. They love him too, which is something I’m thankful for as well. When we lost Noct, I convinced myself that I would never recover but that I would do everything I could to make sure that the twins grew up loved and knowing they were loved by a great man. Now they have two great men that love them.

I am thankful for my friends. For Katt and Terry, for Hope and Raven, for the people I may not be as close with anymore. For the people that have continued to be my friend even when I am stubborn and sullen and hard to deal with. For the people that have allowed me to make amends after those times where I am the above less than great qualities. The lists are long. I have been quite blessed to know so many people both in Rhydin and out. In particular I am thankful for those here because they have made this strange ass place a proper home when I can no longer go to what should be my home. Don’t get me wrong, I am pretty grateful for everyone I knew in Lucis and Pulse, but at the end of the day, I am out of step and can no longer be a part of their lives. I am thankful that they can be happy, healthy, and all of that even without me. It has been nice watching them from afar. Friends are the family that we choose and though my blood family is so very small, I have no shortage of family thanks to those who have come into my life.

I am thankful for everyone at Caelum Enterprises. Gio and Doc and all of the guys in the enforcement division. They have been some of my most steadfast supporters and have looked out for what they think is best for me even when I have been paying them to tell me otherwise. Stubborn jerks, I wonder where they get it. Definitely Noct. It couldn’t have been me, right? Okay, so maybe they have been following my example just a little bit too closely. There are worse things in life. They make running an unfamiliar business quite painless for me with how efficient and well oiled of a machine they are. They take care of the day to day operation and leave me only with the biggest of decisions. Even then, they are always ready to advise and keep me in the loop. I really, truly could not have better men working for me. I am doubly thankful for all of their patience this past year. Many of them are dealing with their own problems in regards to the war in Lucis and I am regrettably running out of answers to their questions. Still their patience persists. Though I fear the day may come that it dwindles and eventually sputters out, until that day comes I hope to make them proud.

I am thankful for everyone in my life, good or bad, that I may not have mentioned so far. I truly believe that we are a product of our environments and every itty bitty, tiny insignificant interaction ultimately adds up, making us a sum of our parts, our hopes, our dreams, our relationships. All of it. We are all of it. It is so terribly easy to feel so very small and insignificant in the grand scope of things but when you consider just what sort of impact a momentary interaction can have on someone, we are so much more than stardust brushed from the palms of fickle gods.

I am thankful for how fortunate I have been to create the life I have. I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and smiles on my two beautiful babies’ faces. And most of all I have love. I have a heart so full of love both for and from others that sometimes I think it may very well burst with the weight of it. Such a way to go, wouldn’t it be? If only. If only, if only, if only.

I am thankful for control. For so long I spent my life beholden to the fates and the whims of beings greater than I. No more. I am in control of my own destiny and **** that is a beautiful feeling. I am so incredibly lucky to have all that I do that really, if the worst thing I can complain about right now is spending Thanksgiving in the hospital because I survived something that should have killed anyone else? Then **** it. I will find something on TV or I will do a ****ing crossword or maybe even read this book Kruger brought me. Either way. I am going to make the most of it.

--Claire

[Claire Gallows]

“How am I, Doc? Is it terminal?” Claire wriggled her toes and coughed dramatically into her elbow. Cough, cough cough. It didn’t even mask the cheeky grin that stretched her mouth wide until her cheeks ached. Dr. Sabbatini, though confused at the shift in her temperance, managed a chuckle as he checked her reflexes and responses for the third time.

“Who put a nickel in you, my Lady?” He tapped the bridges of her feet, pinched at her ankles, prodded her calves, and then finally knocked a knuckle against the side of her knee, nudging her legs toward the side of the bed.

“It’s Friday. I’m going home today.” She said confidently. Slowly she eased her legs over the edge, restraining a wince when her knee bent from the weight of the brace around it. Her bare feet touched down against cold tile and though she instinctively cringed away, she could not help but be elated out of her mind at the fact that she could feel the cold to begin with.

“You think so?” Doc asked, positioning himself at her side. He offered her the crook of his arm. She wound her arm through and tensed up as the lock of limbs helped pull her to her feet. Pain radiated up her leg, throbbing through her knee and aching into her thigh. It was a beautiful pain that made her eyes water both reflexively as well as with joy.

“I know so.” She gasped through a sharp lance of hurt that came from putting her weight onto her foot. Though it had mostly healed, the break in lower leg wasn’t quite ready to hold her up fully. Though her leg trembled, she kept at it though, tilting back and forth from foot to foot.

“The power of positive thinking. I see you have been listening to Healer Ekia after all.” He mused, leaning with her each time.

“Maybe a little. But I think that I am ready to go home and finish up healing at home. You know, I read an article about how having your family and such around you while you recover can speed up recovery times. And really, so long as I don’t overdo it then maybe they can help!” The pain was tolerable so long as she kept talking. Doc was about to respond when the room’s door opened.

“Kids’re… oh, hey.” Cooper grinned when he saw her.

“Stay right there. Don’t move, I’m going to try something.” She pointed a finger at the cowboy. Her mouth screwed up with the set of her jaw as she rolled her shoulders and tensed her arm against Dr. Sabbatini’s. After a pair of deep breaths, she lifted her right leg and shuffled it forward a few inches. As she set it down she leaned forward to put her weight on it. Pain rippled up her leg but it held her weight so she exhaled and swung her left foot forward. That one was far more stable but she didn’t linger longer before moving forward with the right again. Both Cooper and Dr. Sabbatini’s eyes were intent upon her progress, each step showing more and more promise.

“Ah, ****!” She hissed as her knee buckled midway from her bed to the door. Doc kept her from plummeting to the floor and in the blink of an eye Cooper was on her opposite side, his thick arm around her enough to hold her up without putting pressure on her aching ribs. Between the two men, they were able to back her up and gently deposit her on the edge of her bed. Her lashline burned with tears of frustration as she balled a fist and beat it against the soft pillow to her left.

“S’alright Slugger, it’s okay.” Cooper wrapped his arms around her, smoothing her hair with the pass of a broad hand. She tried her hardest not to cry but the urge was there and damn near overwhelming.

“It was progress, Claire. You did great.” Doc assured her from a few steps away. Claire shook her head and pulled back from the gurahl to fix the doctor with a devastated frown.

“But it wasn’t enough.” Her voice cracked but she bit at her bottom lip just in time to keep it from wobbling.

“It was. I think you are in a good position to go home to finish your recovery, if you still want.” He said softly. Claire blinked a few times, unsure if she had heard him correctly.

“Wait… what?”

“Would you still like to go home today?” He asked. Slowly she nodded. “Then take it easy for a little bit, try to bear the food through lunch and I will work toward having you discharged before dinner.”

[Claire Gallows]

November 25th, 2016

Dear Journal,

Home. I got to go home. Back to my apartment and my babies and my boyfriend. Away from uncomfortable beds, being poked and prodded, and the horrid excuse for food. Never have I been so grateful for the sharp bite of November air than I was when I passed through the sliding door of St. Luke’s. If I never have to go there (or to RGH for that matter) ever again it will be to soon. Home, home, home. Man that is a beautiful word.

--Claire