Sharing The Load

[Sjira]

(Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 9:15 pm)
[Kruger's Post]

It was late, silence engulfed the small cottage. The soft breaths of S'jira were the melody to a song that he kept hearing over and over. Kruger stared at the ceiling, another sleepless night rounding out another day of strange encounters. He wanted to wake her, to kiss her and be kissed in return. He wanted to make love until his body was exhausted and his mind empty of everything except her. She had worked hard all day; she worked so hard every day. He couldn't deprive her of the rest that was eluding him.

Kruger rolled to face her, his calloused fingers brushed the hair from her face with a feathers touch. He had found the last couple of weeks to be mentally challenging. His own failed attempts to gain stature in the rings while a problem, paled in comparison to the swirling abyss he felt himself falling into. He felt pulled on all directions at the same time, with only the strength of his limbs to hold him together. Thoughts on the Scath, and the navy plagued him. Thoughts of his commitment to The Guardian?s hunted him as well; and there were the issues of daily business at the shop. The Lady Belial's words still stung him. He had done as she asked, and made himself known. He had joined with Silver in her duties and met with the governor as well. His mind was full, too full to sleep.

S'jira had been a bright spot in his daily life; she was always a source to make him smile. He wanted to talk to tell her what was on his mind. He would share his burden with her, and then feel guilty later that he wasn't able to bear the weight of the world on his own. He needed her though; she eased his troubles with her humble ways. She woke him from his nightmares, and listened long as he explained them. Kruger was fairly certain that on some of those nights when she had given him peace of mind enough to sleep, that she would lay awake afterwards silently holding his burden for him. The thought that he did this to her left his stomach feeling sick. So he would bear these dark thoughts until he could do so no longer.

What, if anything, did she gain from his presence? Were he empathic like so many others perhaps he could tell what it was that she felt when she looked at him. Was he worth the added anxiety? He could only assume that she thought so, for she welcomed him always back into her presence. Such thoughts made him feel worse. They made him fell almost as bad as what he was about to do would make him feel.

He leaned in and kissed that sun darkened cheek, and whispered to her. "jira?.I need you."