Bode Meets the Press

[Bode]

It's late Thursday at Kitsune Stadium following the night's dueling. Bode steps out to the podium to meet the press. Cameras flash. He points to a reporter somewhere out in front of him.

"Bode, how does it feel to be the first team swept this season, and then to lose to Team Twilight?"

"What kind o' dumb-butt question is that? The hell you think it feels? Y'all got any real questions here?

"What do you think's been the cause of your recent losing streak?"

Bode scratches his cheek. "Look, I ain't gonna beat around the bush. We suck a big ol' dang nut--like a sperm whale nut. And why's that? Well, ya got my butt. Ain't much I can say 'cept the league's goin' to the dogs anyway. Literally too. I mean y'all only got twelve teams now? Kind o' hard to get back into that there competitive spirit when it ain't the same level it was.

"Look, I ain't sayin' I'm all right with it or that I'm happy. Just sayin'. It ain't the same league it was."

"Is it true that Beverly's your sister?"

"Yep, she's my sis. What's it to ya?"

"Why isn't Maria captaining this year?"

Bode draws in a long, sharp breath. "Maybe cuz she got sick o' dealin' with your sleazy butts. Look, it's one thing there if ya wanna have a laugh at us gettin' our butt whooped, it's another thing to start stickin' your little pencils in folks's personal lives an runnin' all that crap in all your tabloids. Y'all need somethin' to do? Y'all's lives so damn borin' an' pretty ya gotta muff with others'? Ya don't see us goin' 'round havin' fun at others expense. We been out there provin' ourselves every goddamn day. An' y'all leech on. So the hell with ya. Y'all have your little laughs an' your good time. We'll just keep kickin'. Now get the hell out my house."

Bode throws the podium onto its side before stomping offstage.