Dear Jesse, Keeper of Fire

[DemiBob]

The letter was hand delivered by Jeeves. The formal air, along with the utter lack of usual Bob insanity, suggested it had been rewritten at some point by the delivering elemental.

Jesse,

Hello, Fellow Keeper. Let me be the first to say congratulations on the hot spring. I have not yet had a chance to visit but as soon as I have a free moment I plan on rectifying that. Being a Keeper is surprisingly hard work and I could use a day of pampering.

That is not why I'm writing, however. I am sure you are already aware of my interest in your business venture, after all. Rather, I wish to propose to you another business venture, one that could be quite a bit more lucrative if you can spare a bit of your resources to help me. I am prepared to reward you handsomely for your efforts.

Understand: I say handsomely, but what I really mean is 'beyond comprehension'. I will literally make you the second most wealthy person in Rhydin, just for the daily access to your magma and workforce in the pursuit of refining and shaping of precious metals drawn from the mountain range of the Isle. Let me explain:

I have plenty of mountains within my domain and both all the powers of the Tower of Earth and the minions therein at my control. Each day, I draw from the range a certain volume of precious metals and convert them into much more precious metals, such as gold and platinum. I then package and store these until I can find a seller capable of moving such large amounts of wealth.

However, quite a few of these activities consume large amounts of my time and attention and thus slow me down. I can currently only produce a few thousand cubic feet of precious metals a day. My long term plan is to ramp this up to seventy five thousand cubic feet a day, but part of that requires I automate or outsource as much of the work as possible. This is where you come in.

For a % of what I earn after sales and expenses, I would like to be able to ship the raw materials to you for processing and temporary storage. Once we have a seller (or likely fleet of selllers) for our material, we will then ship it out and split our earnings in some way that satisfies both of us.

Not interested? Interferes with the spa? I can understand the concern, but let me be clear:

I estimate that at full speed, we will earn nearly $50 trillion a month.

This is not a joke. Let me repeat:

$50 trillion a month. Not million, not billion. Trillion.

This is at current market values, of course, and assuming we stick with gold. Actual numbers will go up or down, I'm sure, on a month to month basis.

If you wish to pursue this with me, please write me back. We should begin immediately. I propose the construction of a rail between our two towers and the finding of economies suited for the sale of precious metals.

Keeper of Earth,
Bob

[Spell]

A fire elemental returned with the Keepers answer.


Bob,

Excuse the elemental He'll be somewhat annoyed since I've interrupted his time at the spa to answer this message. I've read over your proposal and have decided it would be in the best interest of Twilight Isle for me to accept.

The forges deep within mine Tower of Fire are best suited to dealing with massive amounts of ore, though mine work force - the goblins - do ask to be compensated for their own work. I assume you agree that hard work should be rewarded!

Which is why I ask that the Goblin Workforce Union (GWU) gain 0.0000001% of every sale.

As for me? 15% seems to be a fair amount for the task of processing and storage.

Feel free to visit the hot springs and reply in person. There's even a Claire bodypillow waiting here for you.

Thinking of the money,
Jesse

[DemiBob]

Jeeves once again delivered a letter. He seemed even less happy than usual, which was quite a feat.

Jesse,

As per our conversation at your tower, I have attached a contract for you to sign and return to me at your earliest convenience. We are agreed upon 15.0000001%, distributed as you see fit, for your portion of this operation. That is after costs, of course, but I will bare all of those myself.

In the mean time, I am training my work force and hope to be up to full capacity within a few short weeks. I am also in the process of contracting wizards to create the necessary portals between our towers, and once in place, we can construct the equipment necessary to move my materials to your forges. Duci Lovasz, owner of Blonde Bombshell Transport, has agreed to manage this portion of the enterprise for a small 1% cut after all the work is completed.

This leaves the sale of the material and the banking of profits. Of the former, I have ideas, but I am at a loss for the later. Any thoughts you have are appreciated.

Going to buy a moon some day,
Bob

P.S. - I believe my Mary and I shall be by sometime to enjoy your spa. I don't suppose you could arrange for an extra special day?

[Spell]

Another fire elemental returned with the Keepers answer. A few squirrels were burned during the trip.

I, along with the head of the GWU - Fizzlebanks Copperpants - have both signed the agreement and it is enclosed with this letter.

I can happily say that the smell of sweet, sweet future profits is in the air and the goblins are being trained accordingly with their soon to be tasks in mind. I've already began penning a possible rail-line between our two towers; but I suggest looking into other means of transportation as well. Warp-travel is a possibility, but the chance that the materials could be corrupted during their short trip is worrisome.

As for the banking of the profits. To be blunt, I would not trust any bank in the Rhydin realm with holding even a sliver of gold. You might as well open your own.

On the subject of the extra special spa day. Keepers and up to three of their guests are allowed into the spa at no charge (this does not include room service and other extra items). Most of our luxury rooms with private pools are currently in use, but I can book you in the presidential suite.

Waiting for production to start,
Jesse

[DemiBob]

Jeeves was getting tired of being forced to walk between the towers only to deliver a message, so this time he snagged one of the couriers who had been used by Addie, the Keeper of Cookies, to deliver Bob's newest letter.

Partner,

As I write this, I am constructing a rail between our towers as per your suggestion. Your goblins are directing most of the effort, though I am quite annoyed that they insist upon making it such a boring ride. I firmly believe a few corkscrews would make it a much cooler mode of transport.

I am also contracting portals. I will attach contact information to the wizard(s) responsible for the work. I have insisted they avoid the warp and the 4th dimension and they assure me they have a safe solution. They will require access to your tower to erect your end of the portals, so please reach out to them when possible.

We also have at least one entity capable of selling our materials for us. A certain 'Olaf' will visit your forges daily to acquire loads. We will likely need more for the future, but for now Olaf will do nicely.

Finally, I continue to train my workforce. I am holding back on extraction until the lines of transport are finished, but I believe I will be at nearly full capacity within the first week of actual production.

I look forward to being stupid rich with you.

Bob,

P.S. I will be going this weekend to buy trains. I will try to get you one with flames on it.

[Spell]

TWO fire elements returned with a response.

Soon to be richer Partner,

We should be thrilled enough that they aren't strapping rocket boosts onto the newly constructed train cars, the last time they did something like that it took sent a good supply of lumber rocketing across the isle. I'll nudge Mr. Copperpants into making things more "cooler" though. We all know work isn't fun unless there's something with a cool-factor in it.

Speaking of lumber. My airship should arrive in a few hours to drop off more material for the tracks.

Onto portals. I've enslaved an elemental lord of the fire plane to help speed up the portal making on my side. IMPORTANT NOTE: I suggest you keep your workers away from the portal when we activate it for a good hour; I wouldn't want another fit from the elemental lord to scorch our hard workers while I send him back to his plane.

Now the workforce. I've run safety checks for the past couple of days. There were only 3 deaths and six mutilations. This is VERY good, considering we were going into triple digits this time last year. The goblins are getting used to wearing more fire protection gear - so there should be no hiccups when it comes to getting shipments out on time.

Going to buy a huge ass pool with all this cash,
Jesse

PS. There is a package alongside this letter -- a gift from the goblins. I do hope you like royal scepters.

[DemiBob]

The first train load of material came with another letter for the Keeper of Fire. Bob would have sent it through the portals, which had been open for a while, but he was weary of the pitfalls associated with them, as some ran through his own native 4th dimension and others through the elemental plane of fire.

J,

With this delivery, our operation is officially started. I will be over in a few days to convert all the processed material into gold, and I hope to have Olaf with me to take the first shipments off to make us stupid rich. Once things are in full swing my visits will be much more frequent.

I'm also taking your advice and opening my own bank. Unsurprisingly, I found it easier just to purchase a preexisting bank and take over it entirely. I'm in the process of firing most of the senior staff and putting my own people in charge. It'll be open just as soon as I can think of a good name. Good names are important.

-B

P.S. Thank you very much for the royal scepters. I feel much nobler while carrying one and waving it around. They are especially good for hitting people.