Age Appropriate Live Play

[Jake]

And yes. I don't like pie, either. ...

Don't tell Michelle, but I don't really care for pie either.

[Cooper Gallows]

I’m kind of curious where all the outrage is over someone playing a rapist taking joy in antagonizing their victim in public? Or the outrage over the players involved laughing about it in an OOC public channel?

Where’s the concern over sensibilities when you have people playing serial killers, torturers, cannibals, drug addicts, slavers, or the romanticizing of all of those things and laughing about it later?

There seems to be a very narrowing of the scope here when it comes to any sense of propriety on certain topics/flavors of roleplay in public rooms and if you’re not going to address all of them, then trying to harp significantly on the one is narrow-focused in the best of intentions and self-serving in the worst of ones, setting some dangerous precedents if folks aren’t careful.

While it’s spectacular that they put the effort into doing so, the onus is not on the RoD staff to give people things to play into or off of. This has always been community driven roleplay and it’s the responsibility of each player to engage (or not) in what others are writing or otherwise curate their own experience to their own tastes within the boundaries of community guidelines. If you don’t like what you’re seeing/experiencing, ignore it. If it bothers you significantly, block it. It is not the responsibility of other players to tailor their fun/experience to your sensibilities so long as they are doing so in a way in which they are not specifically targeting you or actively/deliberately inhibiting your fun. Blocking someone is a choice, not a requirement. It may not be a preferable choice, but it’s still your choice and the passive consequences of doing so (or not) are of your own making.

Also, if you’re feeling hedged out, pushed out, or like you’re otherwise being ‘run out’ by folks whose fun isn’t hurting you, maybe it’s time to take a long, hard look at the bigger picture, as well as your own behavior and outlook on things. Consider if you’ve ever made someone else feel that way. Ask yourself if you or a group you’ve played with have been the reason others have avoided rooms or felt compelled to avoid the community.


Marinate on that.

In the end, the folks who seem to have been singled out in this little crusade have been within the guidelines. They haven’t crossed any lines, even if their fun isn’t within the tastes of others. Oh, and they’re just playing their characters.

Or does that road not go both ways and only apply to certain people?

[Jake]

Let's keep it civil.

We're not challenging people for having opinions or concerns and wishing to express them.

The only way we can make our community better/more harmonious is to allow people to safely express themselves.

[Gothrak]

I brought Ettyn into play yesterday, and I will admit that I felt a great deal of anxiety about how I was playing and how it would be viewed. I knew my behavior to be well within our community guidelines, but I was asking myself instead, what impression is this play making on anyone watching me play? Will it come up in a public discussion or complaint?

I suspect there are a lot of people that feel that way, unfortunately....Feeling under scrutiny isn't a fun feeling. I love Ettyn and the other characters you play, as well as the events/encounters you regularly put on. Ultimately, this 'outrage' will pass and it isn't your doing.

I’m kind of curious where all the outrage is over someone playing a rapist taking joy in antagonizing their victim in public? Or the outrage over the players involved laughing about it in an OOC public channel?

Uh, as I recall, there was? It seems like those involved altered their play to accommodate those people that were unintentionally triggered. But if it's still being talked about in certain circles and bothering you, feel free to message me anytime. I like conversations and don't block folks.

It is not the responsibility of other players to tailor their fun/experience to your sensibilities so long as they are doing so in a way in which they are not specifically targeting you or actively/deliberately inhibiting your fun.

and yet, that's how community's work. Talking things out and compromising to benefit the community not just certain members?

Ask yourself if you or a group you’ve played with have been the reason others have avoided rooms or felt compelled to avoid the community.

It does indeed go both ways. It is pretty shitty to ostracize a person just because of their associations and not their own actions. Mob mentality is how people can be influenced to take on certain behaviors on a largely emotional, rather than rational, basis. Echo chambers are dangerous places
where we learn nothing.

The only way we can make our community better/more harmonious is to allow people to safely express themselves.

That is the hope.

[JC]

Cooper's post is just as valid and should be considered in equal part to everything else posted here. That's multiple hard truths there and several I feel like have been alluded to endlessly in previous posts. If we're going to talk about having an open and honest conversation, then that's going to include some less than pleasant things at times. He's not attacking anyone and I think his words legitimately should be looked at as advice for each and every one of us. We need to look at the double standards that are a) being implied by the original post, b) being applied to those being targeted by this post and c) implicit in all of our day to day play. That takes legit honesty and introspection instead of our current spinning around in an endless 'I don't like this' with no progress.

[Jake]

Cooper's post is just as valid and should be considered in equal part to everything else posted here. That's multiple hard truths there and several I feel like have been alluded to endlessly in previous posts. If we're going to talk about having an open and honest conversation, then that's going to include some less than pleasant things at times. He's not attacking anyone and I think his words legitimately should be looked at as advice for each and every one of us. We need to look at the double standards that are a) being implied by the original post, b) being applied to those being targeted by this post and c) implicit in all of our day to day play. That takes legit honesty and introspection instead of our current spinning around in an endless 'I don't like this' with no progress.

I disagree. He was very specifically calling someone out in an aggressive way.

I'm happy to consider any valid argument, and am not presuming anyone is blameless. But the ill-tempered tones need to go.

[JC]

Cooper's post is just as valid and should be considered in equal part to everything else posted here. That's multiple hard truths there and several I feel like have been alluded to endlessly in previous posts. If we're going to talk about having an open and honest conversation, then that's going to include some less than pleasant things at times. He's not attacking anyone and I think his words legitimately should be looked at as advice for each and every one of us. We need to look at the double standards that are a) being implied by the original post, b) being applied to those being targeted by this post and c) implicit in all of our day to day play. That takes legit honesty and introspection instead of our current spinning around in an endless 'I don't like this' with no progress.

I disagree. He was very specifically calling someone out in an aggressive way.

I'm happy to consider any valid argument, and am not presuming anyone is blameless. But the ill-tempered tones need to go.

Disregarding his points due to his tone would be a disservice to the community, in my opinion. Expecting sunshine and perfect civility is unrealistic in the face of divisive and inflammatory subjects like this that are filled with nuance and multiple layers that go far, far deeper than the original subject makes it out to be. Also, the entire thread is built on a foundation of specifically calling someone out in the same way, so I'm gonna go ahead and stand by my point that Cooper's post is valid and should prompt introspection by all of us. His point is 100% applicable to this and brushing that off further reinforces my shared feeling that this whole charade is less about *what* is being said and instead is about *who* is doing it.

[Jake]

I haven't disregarded his points.

I've pointed out his tone.

I will ask again that everyone make an effort to be civil in their discourse.

[Viktor Ravenwood]

I’m kind of curious where all the outrage is over someone playing a rapist taking joy in antagonizing their victim in public? Or the outrage over the players involved laughing about it in an OOC public channel?

Where’s the concern over sensibilities when you have people playing serial killers, torturers, cannibals, drug addicts, slavers, or the romanticizing of all of those things and laughing about it later?

There seems to be a very narrowing of the scope here when it comes to any sense of propriety on certain topics/flavors of roleplay in public rooms and if you’re not going to address all of them, then trying to harp significantly on the one is narrow-focused in the best of intentions and self-serving in the worst of ones, setting some dangerous precedents if folks aren’t careful.

It's not hard for me to use || for censoring - since the nonverbal description of my character bothers a few people on this thread. I know playing an evil demon is a touchy subject which is why I try to imply things like murder rather than acting them out in public. For context: Viktor's death scene in the solarium was important because another player was deeply involved.

Sorry about that one, truly. In retrospect it was better suited to forums or being privately sent to the player.

Moving forward, using || to censor is no harder than using asterisks in live play. If you wanna be classy and sassy, maybe you could encourage others to do the same thing with their nudity and sex talk? I find sex as repulsive as most would find a rotting whale. I know I am strange. I am sure most people view violence the same way - hence I will wrap my words up when necessary, out of respect. If you see me slip please feel free to poke me and remind me.

While it’s spectacular that they put the effort into doing so, the onus is not on the RoD staff to give people things to play into or off of. This has always been community driven roleplay and it’s the responsibility of each player to engage (or not) in what others are writing or otherwise curate their own experience to their own tastes within the boundaries of community guidelines. If you don’t like what you’re seeing/experiencing, ignore it. If it bothers you significantly, block it. It is not the responsibility of other players to tailor their fun/experience to your sensibilities so long as they are doing so in a way in which they are not specifically targeting you or actively/deliberately inhibiting your fun.

From what I understand, some players are planning their own events on a private server and then they throw sparse details onto the discord announcements or forums. One recent example I was told about by another player (I did not attend) was a costume ball of some kind - with an animal theme? Apparently the details about the outfit were not mentioned anywhere and a few people felt embarrassed to show up in the wrong clothing.

To me that sounds like deliberately inhibiting fun in the silly high-school sort of manner. In fact, it's like a romcom stoner film! Popular girls invite geek guys to a party and lie about the theme. Guys show up looking like idiots and everyone secretly snickers about it. At minimum, it would be nice if important event details like that are better communicated to the server.

Ask yourself if you or a group you’ve played with have been the reason others have avoided rooms or felt compelled to avoid the community.

In the end, the folks who seem to have been singled out in this little crusade have been within the guidelines. They haven’t crossed any lines, even if their fun isn’t within the tastes of others. Oh, and they’re just playing their characters.

Or does that road not go both ways and only apply to certain people?

I am rarely seen at events. If you were to count up the number hosted and my attendance rate it would be less than 10%. That is because I know people do not like me. Furthermore, I rarely utilize the RP channels, all because many players seemed uncomfortable with my main character. I've greatly accommodated this server without being asked - merely because I detected discomfort from other players. I felt it was common decency. I sometimes watch people RP with a hint of envy. I almost consider joining in... but then I remember how awkward some people get when I walk into a scene and I just linger in my own little shadows. This is not said to invoke pity or to demonstrate rue or woe; This is told to you because I want you to see the impact RoD has had on my own personal play options. I am an outlier.

Also this is not a crusade but civil discourse. If you feel like this is a crusade you might want to take a short break before you return to this thread? It's not worth raising your blood pressure for.

This is a hobby we are all passionate about and I just want to see this community start to heal.

Is that going to be possible? Can everyone find forgiveness in their hearts and we can start fresh with at least trying to censor our offensive materials better - and improve our announcement templates (mention attire: costume, casual, formal - etc)? These are my suggestions that mods asked for. It may not related to guidelines but if we all take the responsibility upon ourselves to set a good example... it would be so cool.

[JC]

While it’s spectacular that they put the effort into doing so, the onus is not on the RoD staff to give people things to play into or off of. This has always been community driven roleplay and it’s the responsibility of each player to engage (or not) in what others are writing or otherwise curate their own experience to their own tastes within the boundaries of community guidelines. If you don’t like what you’re seeing/experiencing, ignore it. If it bothers you significantly, block it. It is not the responsibility of other players to tailor their fun/experience to your sensibilities so long as they are doing so in a way in which they are not specifically targeting you or actively/deliberately inhibiting your fun.

From what I understand, some players are planning their own events on a private server and then they throw sparse details onto the discord announcements or forums. One recent example I was told about by another player (I did not attend) was a costume ball of some kind - with an animal theme? Apparently the details about the outfit were not mentioned anywhere and a few people felt embarrassed to show up in the wrong clothing.

To me that sounds like deliberately inhibiting fun in the silly high-school sort of manner. In fact, it's like a romcom stoner film! Popular girls invite geek guys to a party and lie about the theme. Guys show up looking like idiots and everyone secretly snickers about it. At minimum, it would be nice if important event details like that are better communicated to the server.

You'll have to excuse my confusion but what? Do you mean this where the theme is mentioned right at the top? It's up to others on how to interpret a theme and dress as much or as little as they want to it. Coulda worn jeans and sneakers and still had a hell of a time, you know? ETA: This event was also held on the RoD server and board. I don't recall much use of player announcements being used to promote other servers. May be wrong, but if you're thinking of a different event, I'd love to hear more.

Is that going to be possible? Can everyone find forgiveness in their hearts and we can start fresh with at least trying to censor our offensive materials better - and improve our announcement templates (mention attire: costume, casual, formal - etc)? These are my suggestions that mods asked for. It may not related to guidelines but if we all take the responsibility upon ourselves to set a good example... it would be so cool.

Player events are exactly that; player run. They can have as much or as little detail and organization as the creator want to put into them. Alternatively, it remains up to others to participate as they see fit (or not). As someone who has run a number of events over the years, I do not support dictating to players on how to run their events. If anything, staff should just be encouraging anyone that wants to throw an event to throw one. That's how we always had such awesome events over the years; letting the community's creativity do its thing. Not all events are created equal and I'd rather not push to homogenize them by having requirements like templates and such. Because what happens if someone doesn't do it? Does staff have to delete that player's event?

ETA: Methinks this subject would be better suited for a separate thread. I really don't think it applies to the main subject.

[Mallory]

From what I understand, some players are planning their own events on a private server and then they throw sparse details onto the discord announcements or forums. One recent example I was told about by another player (I did not attend) was a costume ball of some kind - with an animal theme? Apparently the details about the outfit were not mentioned anywhere and a few people felt embarrassed to show up in the wrong clothing.

To me that sounds like deliberately inhibiting fun in the silly high-school sort of manner. In fact, it's like a romcom stoner film! Popular girls invite geek guys to a party and lie about the theme. Guys show up looking like idiots and everyone secretly snickers about it. At minimum, it would be nice if important event details like that are better communicated to the server.

You mean this event? That's the only animal-themed costume ball recently I can think of, which had... a public thread, and was in a public room (the Solarium), which had a theme of "night's creatures." People showed up in nocturnal animal-themed as well as mythological costumes, but they could wear whatever they wanted. I can't speak to where it was planned one way or another, but I am confused why this matters?

Beltane is traditionally planned in a group Google Doc and one (or more) group Discord DMs. I don't see a particular issue with that, either. It doesn't have to happen exclusively on RhyDin.org private messages, or our server's channels. I do event planning through whatever spaces are convenient to me for whoever I need to talk to about it.

I'm still baffled by why the Tower of Air party was likewise targeted, and have yet to see a good answer for that. And the ball you linked above has nothing to do with age-appropriate play. Considering the limited information you had about it, why did you decide to single this event out also?

[Morgan LaLuna]

On blocking, instead of talking directly. I was involved in something like this with you, Gothrak. I was in conversation anyway with someone also involved, and only asked that OOC chuckling in the green room about rape be toned down. I was given an apology and a polite assurance it would be chilled out.

And then you lost your absolute mind in the green room. Is it any wonder I didn't feel comfortable saying anything, and blocking you? I was made extremely uncomfortable with the way you reacted when I thought it was over. I mention this specifically, because it has been brought up, and you seem to be stuck on it.

From what I understand, some players are planning their own events on a private server and then they throw sparse details onto the discord announcements or forums. One recent example I was told about by another player (I did not attend) was a costume ball of some kind - with an animal theme? Apparently the details about the outfit were not mentioned anywhere and a few people felt embarrassed to show up in the wrong clothing.

Two things:

1.)The costume ball was very much advertised for what it is. Not all planning is done in public for very obvious reasons. It was public, and forum only posts are just that. Nobody is playing out the entire event on any private server I am part of. I don't know if that's fully the case, but I have not seen any advertised event of separate server private events.

2.) This whole post got wildly off subject. The more it rambles, the more it feels like targeting.

[Viktor Ravenwood]

You'll have to excuse my confusion but what? Do you mean this where the theme is mentioned right at the top?

I think that was the one? I did not attend it as I said - I only heard about it in DM's. I see the theme but not "costume party" listed?? I realize we all have a choice to dress up or down but a costume is not something a normal person will select unless told that the party is a costume party.

Maybe I will talk with the folks I hear this info from and encourage them to come speak on this board.

Considering the limited information you had about it, why did you decide to single this event out also?

Because it was an example of players being "left out" when they should have felt more "in the loop" -- and if you want me to switch this to another thread I can? My apologies if it was wandering too far off subject. I feel costumes tend to draw kids in -- so I thought it was topical for that reason. I felt it was also topical as we are talking about keeping this community together and on the same foot.

Two things:

1.)The costume ball was very much advertised for what it is. Not all planning is done in public for very obvious reasons. It was public, and forum only posts are just that. Nobody is playing out the entire event on any private server I am part of. I don't know if that's fully the case, but I have not seen any advertised event of separate server private events.

2.) This whole post got wildly off subject. The more it rambles, the more it feels like targeting.

I am sorry, it was not intended to be targeting -- but rather it was showing the person I responded to that it's possible for US to modify OUR behavior without making it into some "rule".

I also thought my post was demonstrating that the violent scene I was involved in was more complicated than it looked? It was not merely shallow or cold blooded, or even pointless. There was an intense motivation there. I also hoped to communicate that I was sorry for being excessively bloody in live chat and I will change moving forward to be more age-appropriate (because it's really, really easy to add ||). I will change MY actions in the hopes it inspires others to do the same!

[Mallory]

Considering the limited information you had about it, why did you decide to single this event out also?

Because it was an example of players being "left out" when they should have felt more "in the loop" -- and if you want me to switch this to another thread I can? I felt it was topical as we are talking about keeping this community together and on the same foot.

I don't know what to tell you. As an example, I've planned Orktoberfest events on my own, with the RP Team, and/or with small groups of players who have shown interest in that or similar events in the past. Jaycy planned this event as the Governor's Ball, something that governors traditionally do; the governor is an in-character storyline where any person can run for and get elected to governor. Governors have varied on who they might involve in the planning of a Governor's Ball; I think one or two have planned solo?

I've done other events solo. It varies. It's on the planner to decide what's best.

This event had two posts in our #player-announcements channel over the course of a week, and a thread that I linked to.

It is, again, strange to me that we started this thread targeting the Tower of Air Party, with Jaycy hosting as the Keeper of Air, and have now moved to the Governor's Ball, hosted by Governor Jaycy Ashleana.

[Morgan LaLuna]

I feel costumes tend to draw kids in -- so I thought it was topical for that reason.

This was not an adult only party. Younger people were more than welcome to join. It was the Annual Official Governor's ball, a player run event in which all players are welcome to join with any character in any attire they desired. (As long as they conformed to community guidelines.)